Friday, February 24, 2012

The Bachelor Effect

So, I have a guilty pleasure. A very guilty pleasure. I enjoy watching The Bachelor. Okay, scratch that, watching The Bachelor is somewhat sociably  acceptable. I enjoy watching only the last five minutes of the hit reality show. The part where the handsome singleton sends a couple of not-so- worthy women home in the limo of despair. I can't help but find the interviews that occur in that limo unequivocally hilarious. I mean, first these pretty women start off all calm and state something politically acceptable such as "Coming on to this show I realized this was a distinct possibility." Then once the shock they are no longer a cast member on the hit ABC show finally sinks in, the woman promptly transforms into a blubbering bimbo insistent on bringing herself and her family to a lifetime of shame. They then commence to yell nonsense at the screen that include a slur of phrases such as "Never love again" and "Why me?" that probably sends the cameraman scrambling for local tranquilizers strong enough to slay a camel.
If you're reading this you're probably convinced that I'm some sick sadist who just enjoys the despair of physically attractive women. On the contrary, I do feel for these girls. (And who can't help but somewhat like The Bachelor?) They're beautiful intelligent beings completely worthy of love. The way they react however, to a man rejecting them whilst dating a myriad of other women I do find pretty humorous. I find it's like being shocked when you find out that the cast of Jersey Shore isn't naturally that Orange Glow tan...come on.
And while these women shed some comedy on to my Monday night I can't help but feel the image of the  sobbing, attractive woman in the stretch limo is all too common in high school. This is something I like to call The Bachelor Effect. A ratio of 1 attractive guy to about 30 girls. Am I not right? So then the battle commences-- There's the strain for the guy's attention, the grueling fight for his love, because after all you deserve it, right? He looks at you in a special way that can't compete with the other 29. And yet there's still the need to prove that you're good enough for him. And just when you think you think your relationship has passed all the see him give that special look to another unworthy subject. And next thing you know your tear-streaked face is staring out the back of a limo wondering what the hell happened. Let's face it; we've all been that girl (or guy) bringing ourselves and our families to eternal shame over some relationship or another. Most of us, however, have had the privilege of not having it Nationally broadcast-so evildoers such myself can up their Serotonin level while regarding the television screen.
Unfortunately, life can be an extended edition of The Bachelor with perfectly strong, and respectable women transforming into needy beings simply because they convince themselves they can be the last one standing in the end.
And the one lucky fella? He takes his pick of any of his swooning ladies, simply because he can.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Wild for Wilde

Now any of you who have met me have heard me mention my admirations fo the wise and witty Oscar Wilde. Everything he has ever written (The Picture of Dorian Gray, The Importance of Being Earnest, The Happy Prince, to name a few) has made perfect sense to me and have never failed to make me laugh, or wish I had written those sentiments myself. He has the power to keep me captivated by his words for hours--a difficult feat for a person with the attention span of a goldfish. Now if you haven't heard of him, or have never picked up a piece of his work Do. It. Now. Get the Picture of Dorian Gray and let this 19th century writer's words leap off of the page. You wont regret it.
Now a certain quote of his has really been lingering in my mind for the past few days and it goes like this: "Anybody can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend's success."
I find this saying not only incredibly difficult to admit, but incredibly true. Whenever a friend is having a bad day I have the ability to feel like a superhero. Telling them jokes to make them laugh, assuring them that everything is going to be okay. I can bake them cookies, call them on the telephone, and send them reassuring Hallmark e-cards. Now this maks me a good friend right? But what about when a friend has a really successful day? Does that fact that I'm not leaping for joy because that got the lead in the school musical AND aced their math exam make me a terrible person? I think yes and no. Now I love my friends. I would do anything for them. But there always seems to be something within  me that begins to stir when I hear of one of their successes that I could never dream of. I say I'm happy for them, and I guess deep down I am. But over shadowing this facade is the fact that I am unforgivably jealous. There I said it. I get jealous of my friends. It isn't something I'm proud of but it's something everyone feels. We all just feel too terrible to say it aloud.  Now I'm not saying that I'm some crazed ego-maniac obsessed with always one-upping my friends. I'm just trying to put out there that with every relationship the ugly little green monster will always come out whether you like it or not.
This isn't something any of us are proud of, but something we really need to deal with. My new and delayed New Year's resolution is to be genuinely happy for my friends. Whether it be their new designer jeans, or academic award. I have found that many moments in my life have been tainted by the crude and heartless ways of jealousy. I really think this should be a goal for everyone. To not only be the good friend when someone is going through a rough time. But to bask in the sunlight that radiated off of their ego when they get a hot date friday night. While we on the other hand...okay let's not drag Ben and Jerry into this again.
It's human nature to be a little jealous so maybe it's time for all of us to work on our super human powers. A power that allows us to blissfully sympathize with a friend's successes.
After all, each one of us is just trying to get by ,and maybe that requires us to feel some contentment. Even if the moment isn't at all about ourselves.
This is our dear Oscar. Courtesy of

Monday, February 13, 2012

Valentine's Day

Hey I'm Jess, this is my first post so be kind!
I decided that one of the most important days to 'just get by' in is in fact, Valentine's Day. Now I don't want this to be a rant on how much I despise the holiday let it be the over sized stuffed animals, the generic heart shaped boxes and the couples sprawling their PDA out for the world to see...okay I'm ranting. But you get the point-- when it comes to Cupid's holiday I am not a fan. And I'm sure a lot of you out there aren't either. It's pretty cliche to say that this is a day full of commercialism created by greeting card and chocolate company's to make singles realize just how single they really are.
Now I'm not saying there is anything wrong with chocolate or flowers, in fact those are some of my favorite things. I'm just stating as a single person a holiday dedicated to romance isn't exactly my cup of tea. In my opinion there should be a Singletons day, one where women and men around the world can celebrate being single with no shame or bitterness. This holiday could be complete with wearing 'I hold my own hand' t-shirts and "Romantic dinner for One" specials in local restauraunts. And I do realize there could be no such holiday sans shame or bitterness but wouldn't it be nice if more positivity was shined on being single rather then in a relationship? What Valentine's Day doesn't emphasize is sometimes it's nice to be free, and that one does not need a card with a heart shaped-cookie on it to realize that they're happy.
Now my sincerest wishes to all you romantic couples out there celebrating the day of love. But while you're out snuggling up to an open fire and reading candy heart messages aloud to eachother I'll be in my room watching very un- romantic action flicks and spending quality time with my friends Ben and Jerry. I promise you I'm not bitter about this day, I'm just trying to get by.
Best of luck and love to everyone (single or not) on Valentines!