I like to think that I've changed a lot since my flower picking days but when it comes to the root of it all I haven't- I still lust over those who don't know of my existence and I can still attempt to impress a boy with my unorthodox knowledge of popculture. Maybe I tend to pursue men in the same fashion because my basic wants haven't really changed. I always seem to be attracted to the one's I can't have (hey who isn't?) but it's more than that. I like the quirky ones who can make me laugh. I've had plenty of people approach me to say "Jess, you have the weirdest taste in guys." Touche, but this got me wondering why my preference for men is so unique. Sure I go for the funnier, off-beat guys, but I think at the end of the day most women have the same non-negociable qualities when it comes to a man. Strange or not. So I came up with five that I believe everyone in posession of a single X chromosome can agree on. Whether you like the artsy guys, jocks, preps, thespians, guidos, or skaters we all look for similar qualities when looking for a mate.
1. Confidence- I can't stress the importance of this quality enough. Women like to know that you can make decisions on your own without constantly second-guessing yourself. They like to feel secure in the fact that you're confident that you love them. Dudes with high self esteem laugh more, stand up straighter, and aren't afraid to act goofy in public. They like themselves, and don't need a myriad of self-help casettes to tell them that they're worth while. Whenever you see a man with no self confidence it's quite evident that he's getting little to no action. The sexiest type of man can look you straight in the eye, and tell you who he is without a hint of apology in his tone.
2. Sense of Humor- Now this kind of goes along with confidence. A guy needs to be assured enough in themselves to know there's a chance that nobody will laugh at their joke. I love a good That's What She Said line as much as the next guy, so even if your humor is a little more on the PG-13 side its easy to make a girl laugh. Once, I was hanging out with a guy friend at his house, we were listening to crude, funny songs on the computer and it got to the point he and I had tears in our eyes, we were doing that sort of silent laughter that is the best and most painful. Then we just looked into eachothers eyes and laughed together. Comedy, I swear, is one of the best human connections to have.
3. Kindness- So I know it's cliche and it doesn't sound very masculine, but a kind, and thoughtful boy is the best. I'm not talking about a doormat who let's people walk all over him because he's too much of a pushover to say anything. I'm talking about the one who is rare to find, a guy who doesn't have his head shoved up so far where the sun don't shine, and he actually feels empathy towards others. One that thinks about the words he says before they come out of his mouth. These are the guys that were raised right. There's proof that even the smallest of gestures can make the largest of impacts. A while back, I loaned out a favorite CD to this guy I knew. This was a country-pop crossover and the cover had a large crack in it. He wasn't afraid to admit to me that he didn't really like the music (back to the whole confidence thing) but when he returned the album the case no longer had a crack in it. He had replaced the case for me simply because he knew I loved the CD so much. Was it romantic enough to be adopted into the next Ashton Kutcher flick? No. Was it incredibly sweet? Yes.
4. Innovative- This is someone who cares about more then his World of Warcraft score or his new haircut. A person who goes out into the world and seeks answers. I don't mean the pretentious guy who walks around in his granola sandals with a huge superiority complex because he shops at healthfood stores and has a rescued vegetarian Anaconda named Ralph. Someone who is just well informed and can have political debates--I once dated a guy who didn't know President Obama's first name was Barack. (Yeah...Stop judging me!) I just think its wonderful if someone is strong in their beliefs and has an education to back up those ideals. Simply someone who realizes there is more to life then their group of friends and does something about it.
5. A Beautiful Soul- Now there are old souls, new souls, good ones, bad ones. But it's very rare that a beautiful one is uncovered. I think a beautiful soul is a combination of the qualities listed above. I'm not exactly sure myself what I mean when I say beautiful soul. I think this all just comes down to chemistry, if two people really somehow get along together, it doesn't take much to see the beauty in eachothers' lives. If two people are polar opposites but have the ability to point out extraordinary qualities in eachother it is evident they see the beauty within eachother. Maybe this isn't what a beautiful soul is at all, all I know is I would rather spend time with an amazing personality then someone who is really, really, really, ridiculously good-looking. Although looking back, I guess Derek Zoolander was pretty philanthropic with his school for children and all.
Now I do believe every woman would like to find these qualities in a man. And ladies, I'm sure men are looking for these qualities in us, too. Amazing qualities aren't always easy to find; Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it, as Confucious would say. Now I'm just getting by until I see these qualities in a person and they see them right back in me. And hopefully it wont take a handfull of wilted dandilions and a rendition of Oops I Did it Again for them to realize it.
Image: Collider.com
#3 ;) score
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