Satisfaction Guaranteed

So the other day in my Economics class we briefly discussed guarantees. Why they're important, why we expect them, and how they help sales. By definition a guarantee is; a formal promise or assurance (typically in writing) that certain conditions will be fulfilled. This got me thinking; wouldn't it be nice if we could guarantee our own lives? Or at least put some kind of warranty on them? I don't know about you, but I greatly wish that any big decision that I make came with a 'Satisfaction Guaranteed' label on the outside of the box. I'd like to think that with any choice, there is something beneficial that I will get out of it, and that it won’t completely blow up in my face, dysfunction, or expire. It would be nice to know that everything I will do, guarantees a stable future, good lesson, or at least an interesting story. As I get older though it has come to my attention that a guarantee isn't something that can be bought, it simply can be implied. I can't guarantee that I'll like the movie that I see on a Friday night, or that I'll have fun on a blind date. All I can really do is hope for the best and realize that without a guarantee there is a risk.
I don't think that I've gotten very far with things that I knew were guaranteed. I can watch a movie I've already seen, and guarantee that I'll laugh or I could check out that new Indie blockbuster and risk falling asleep. I could stay in Colorado and guarantee that I will know and love people I'm around, or I can move far away and risk being lonely. While taking a chance is very scary, I've found that with a guarantee there is even more risk involved. I may laugh at the movie, but I risk learning a valuable life lesson from the Indie film I turned down. I may be comfortable in Colorado, but I'm also comfortable on the couch, and last time I checked, staying in one spot for too long can be detrimental. With every guarantee that I accept, the more comfortable I'll become and that to me is scarier than the unknown. We like what we know and what we have seen, but humans will always crave to learn more. While a familiar voice can be soothing, a new sound can be eye opening.
Now I of all people am a sucker for tradition and being close to what I know. But I'm also fearful of being stuck in a rut and looking back on my life knowing that I turned down something beautiful for something that was safe.  A concrete thought or promise is an amazing thing and everyone needs stability. Everyone.
But every person also needs to step out of their own cozy comfort zone and realize that not everything is solidified. This is the biggest lesson that I'm learning right now.
So uncertainty can be scary or even worse, boring. There will always be a lesson to be learned from taking a risk. I guarantee it.

The Big Blog Theory

As a senior now into my second semester, I've found that I have little to do but wait on colleges and  pretend to stress about mundane school work. While I'd like to tell you that I've been using that time to develop a cure for Osteoporosis and rescuing the endangered frogs of the Amazon, I've really been spending a lot of time catching up on my beloved sitcoms. Friends, How I Met Your Mother, anyone? And while many would argue that this time I've been using eating snacks and contributing to the corny  symphony that is the laugh-track is a waste of time, I've found that it has been a lot more than that. As somebody who has trouble sitting still, I find this hour I spend watching something light-hearted and witty, comforting and even therapeutic. I'm allowed to escape into a world where every joke is laughed at and every problem is solved within the span of 30 minutes. This is a world where a tight-knit group of friends never seem to abandon each other but support one another through what appear to be useless and unessential problems, yet at the end of the day are very relatable. I currently find myself asking "What would Sheldon or Barney say?" In daily life situations, or I find myself pondering how a sitcom writer would solve one of my problems. Would they have a new hot guest-star come in to be my new love interest? Would I be rejected by the college of my dreams only to find it was all meant to be in the end? Whatever they so choose I guarantee would be both entertaining and good for my character development as a whole. It is easy to say that I wish that my life was a sitcom. Now if I had my choice, my life would be a mixture of Frasier and Seinfeld. I would want the ruthless and yes, even bitchy wit of Frasier and Niles combined with the "nothing-ness that somehow becomes something" ideals of Seinfeld. I would want my life sitcom to be written by someone who was dry and clever and who also had a big heart. Someone who would care about the characters as much as I would. People I idolize and those who I despise would make one-episode appearances but the original cast would remain constant. The story would be both mind-blowing and something everyone could relate to. The story line would turn the mundane into the incredible and the sorrowful into the funny. I would want people to rush home to see it. Is that too much to ask out of my very own sitcom? Or maybe even out of my own life?

I think that it's easy to be afraid that our lives will only have 15 minutes of fame rather than a memorial of all the seasons posted on Netflix. We all want a life that we will remember, look back on, and have a video montage of our best moments with "Time of Our Lives" by Green Day playing in the background. Or is that just me? Something we are all looking for are ground-breaking moments and heart-felt lines that can keep us going to the next episode and even season. What we must realize is that a sitcom is not based on the set, the lines, or even the story-line. It is the characters who make the show. It's these roles who we want to see get married and be happy. We relate to them and they speak to all of us differently. So I think that it is important that we are all stars of our own sitcom. That even if there isn't an incredible guest-star or a ground breaking salary present we can continue in our own character's path. We can develop ourselves and create the set and audience that we wish to see. And while not every single one of our jokes will be laughed at or our problems last longer than half an hour, we can know that we are in the giant sitcom of life, and the people surrounding us are better than any studio audience.

Image: fanpop.com  From New Girl, her name is Jess and she is the star of her own show. I found it fitting.

Wild for Wilde Part 3

"Women always want a 6th Act “~Oscar Wilde

Most recently this quote has been haunting me, I read it a while back in The Picture of Dorian Gray and it has stuck with me ever since.  These past few days I have dreamt of, analyzed and over-analyzed this quote and it keeps telling me the same thing--Jess, sometimes things need to end. With recent events in my life, I've come to find this quick epigram alarmingly true. Here, Oscar means that women are always looking for more, even when the play has officially ended and the curtain falls, we women still want a continuation of something that has clearly reached its finish. Now I'm not only accusing women of this, I'll tell you Oscar, that I know plenty of men that don't know how to end anything, or allow anything to be ended. I've found that we has human beings easily grasp on to the "what ifs" in life rather than the "what ares" and I constantly find myself daydreaming of infinite possibilities rather than living in the present. There are so many things that I want to be true that just aren't, and there are many lies I conjure in my head that I wish I could make true. I've always had a thought in my head that if something is good and wonderful that it will last forever. But the truth is, when something is euphoric it usually has an expiration date. And as humans, who think that everything should last forever this is a hard concept for us to grasp. We are constantly bombarded with products that are supposed to prolong the skin's youth and hair luster. We live in a society where our number one goal is to make something last as long as possible. We are so concerned with the longevity of a situation that we forget to enjoy its present state of being. A fear of something being finite drives our society to work harder, live longer and preserve every bit of beauty that we can before it’s gone. It is important for us to know that every beautiful sunset will meet its dusk and every sunrise will transform into a dawn. I've been working harder at enjoying what I can while I have it and knowing that not everything good will last forever. It is much nicer to enjoy a chocolate cake while it's right in front of you, rather than freezing it hoping to keep it for eternity. Sometimes it's nice to know that something is there rather than enjoying it. I remember as a kid, I would sometimes leave toys in the box in the hopes that I wouldn't ruin them. But that isn't what a toy is for. I constantly have to remind myself that everything must be taken out of its box--even if you risk ruining it. Even if opening that box causes hard to mend cracks and holes, it is better to know that something was utilized rather than forgotten. Mountains weren't only meant to be revered but to be climbed, an ocean isn't meant to just be studied but to be surfed.

In the dire hope of preservation we end up causing more damage than harm to ourselves. We were meant to enjoy the 5th act and then move on to a 1st. And my final thought on this subject is not all good things will last for eternity. But if you know something is worth keeping, hold onto it with everything you have. Every once in a while the audience will demand an encore. 

Image: designzzz.com

My Conflict of Present and Future

The scariest thing in the world is occuring in my life. Something I have only read of, thought of, and dreamed about. My future is just around the corner...and I'm praying that I'm ready. Ever since I saw Elle Woods jet off to Harvard in the classic film Legally Blonde when I was 9, I knew that the collegiate life was for me. Maybe without the douchey ex-boyfriend and the designer Chihuahua. Or maybe with. Who knows?
I knew that once I graduated from secondary school,  I wanted to set off into the unkown and discover who exactly I'm supposed to be. But as application and scholarship deadlines are approaching, the omnipresent saying "be careful what you wish for" is coursing through my brain faster than Justin Bieber getting a record label (remind me, was he 4 or 5?). Most of  me is grateful for what is occurring. I'm finally becoming an adult, one who can get their own brand of shampoo, and say important things to little kids like "watch out for that ice cream truck" or "I put on mis-matched socks today" and they will look at me like I'm spouting the words of wisdom from Buddha himself. I will be able to make my own dinners and do my own laundry. I get to clean up my own bathroom and not have to worry about my parents paying for the gas in my car. (See why I'm scared?)

In all seriousness, what I'm looking for out of my college experience is the ability to find who I am, and be strong in my convictions. Long gone will be the days of high school uncertainty and adolescent insecurities.  I want to look back on my college days with nostalgia and the ability to laugh at myself. It was easy for me, when I was a freshman,to think that any college was right for me as long as I didn't have to be trapped within the walls of my high school. Now, I realize, picking a University is much like picking a new pet--you need to make sure it fits well with your lifestyle, that it's open and friendly, and that it doesn't smell bad. It's important to take it for a walk, get a feel for it on the leash, and make sure that it can match your stride. Make sure that it respects your boundaries, and that it's computer-matched roomate doesn't steal your Ramen. I've really been thinking about where I want to go, and the type of life that I wish to lead. I know that a University isn't the core deciding factor to a happy life, but I know that everything that I do in my young adult hood is setting the foundation for a fruitful future.

I'm also afraid of losing the people that I know. Somebody I love recently told me "there are plenty of beautiful people in the world" and while I agree with this statement, not every relationship I have is going to have an equal beauty as the individuals outside of the friendship. I believe that I have found some beautiful relationships, a couple in particular that I believe some adults have yet to find. But I'm afraid that when I leave for my new life that beauty will wear off and I will be left searching for meaning in my new relationships.
With that being said, I know that wherever I go I will meet people who fascinate me, challenge me and yes, even love me. I guess it's just fear of change that keeps me questioning my future. I know that whichever path I choose I will be prepared--equipped with an quirky sense of humor and the openness to a new life that will keep me from always just getting by, to really living.
Image:TopNews.in

Get Out of Jail Free?

Well hello there...we haven't spoken in a while. And to my stalker out there...I apologize. I hope I've been sorely missed. My leave of absence was one of a full summer and the beginning of my senior year. I have no excuse for my abandonment other then the fact that I was consumed by life. But what better way to consume life than to share it with all of you?
So...something incredible happened last night. Something heard only in myths and fairytales. A thing that is only spoken softly between the haunted walls of Victorian Castles and code messages between spies.  Something alluded to by metaphysical witch women but never actually occurs-- I got caught doing something redhanded by my parents...and I didn't get grounded. Now mind you my offense was one of naive teenager ideals and bad timing. So don't assume the worst in me. To be honest I've never actually been grounded before in my life. I'm a self proclaimed goody goody and proud of it! In fact, I'm thinking of starting a GG anonymous. One where the prudish and mundane can join togeher once a week and share in eachothers secret love for rules and toothpaste.  But what happened was enough to give my parents reason to ban me from my social world for a week and take away my car. What did they do? They laughed. My whole household is now making fun of me for something that should have royally pissed them off. I feel like I have been handed a Get Out of Free Jail card and I didn't even pass the Boardwalk. I did nothing to deserve the compassion and jovial nature of my parents. But I received it anyway. So this got me thinking, in life am I lucky that the punishment wasn't inflicted on me by an outside source? Or am I cursed to replaying the night over and over knowing that the ending wasn't just? Or at least balanced. For every offense does there always need to be a defense?
Now needless to say that what happened  wasn't anything to lock me up for and curse me to live a pre- Hogwarts Harry Potter type lifestyle. But I can't help but feel this isn't the end to the matter. I'm sure as I'm typing, this very second my family is upstairs planning an elaborate hoax. It will involve mousetraps and elaborate twists and turns. I'll wake up five years from now from an Inception-like dream but instead of having quirky actors such as Ellen Page as my sidekicks, I'll get a rude awakening from my brother pouring ice water over my face saying "This is just the beginning."
Okay maybe my punishment sounds more like a Stephen King novel rather than a teenage punishment but if you got off home free you'd be questioning your own sanity too. Should I accept this gracious gift or should I know in the back of my mind pay back is soon to come? Will this event come up at Christmas dinners at lulls in the conversation? To be honest, knowing my parents and my good reputation this isn't anything to be worried about. I've learned from it and I guess it's time to move on. We all know at the heart of my being is a love for tacky game shows and long periods of sleep. All I know is that even if  I was banned from my social world typing this to you from the secrecy of candle light I would still be myself. Just because I was caught in trouble doesn't make my wrong doings any less wrong or right. All we can do is just get by, and hope that while our actions may not always come with a premium Get Out of Jail free card, they'll always come with a lesson.
Image:1thought2many.wordpress.com

Library Observations

It is now the summer before my senior year and you'll be glad to hear that I've spent a significant amount of that time in the local Library. But don't worry, I've been spending that time doing really cool things such as checking out books about Monty Python and...well that's pretty much the only relatively
cool thing. But one of the best things about the library is the ability to people watch without them really noticing; I like to look at the people I see, and make a fake back story of their life. I like to think that I'm right most of the time, but really most of my stories end up more like Full House episodes then actual functioning humans' lives that spend their Thursday Noon (Do you just call it Noon or Afternoon if it's twelve?) at the library. So I decided to sit here and give you the stories of the people that I see in the hopes you find these characters as interesting as I do.
Sitting next to me currently, are two stereotypical gamers-they're playing the same computer game in which the hero is a knight and you need to travel through forests and dangerous lands in order to win the gallant approval of King Humphrey, ruler of all Endlasia, who's daughter is the most fair maiden in all the land... I really don't know, it's something Medieval-y. I like to think that the older one is the brother of the younger and that they've told their mother that they're out playing frisbee and and socializing with peers. But what their mom doesn't know is that their true happiness resides within the walls of a PC. Today will be the day one of them defeats the game and they will both celebrate with ice cream and a Midnight marathon of Battlestar Galactica. Is that what gamers do?
Across from me is a man with sunglasses on his forehead and glasses on his face. He has on a patriotic shirt that lets me know he's a true American. I believe this man was very quiet in high school but graduated at the top of his class. He's now married with one daughter and another on the way, but what the family really wants is that prodigal son. He needs to get away, so right now he's researching various French dessert recipes because at the end of the day all he wanted to be was a pastry chef...when he met his wife he realized it didn't make enough money. So now his true comforts reside on cyber comfort cuisine and the occasional episode of Iron Chef when the family is away. He dreams with a spatula under his pillow and an apron on his heart. There isn't a puff pastry he can't master, and a souffle? Bring it on.
At the cubicle across from me is a man most likely in his mid- forties, who is playing what seems to be some sort of game with a map. (You can tell I'm really up to speed in the internet world). He's now logging on to his Facebook page that consists of only a few friends--the older generation never allows people on that they don't know. He's currently going through a break-up in which him and his ex are fighting over custody of their beloved Terrier, Gordie.  He spends his nights watching Air Bud movies when the dog is away always seeking to be close to man's best friend.
For some reason there are two little boys dressed in flannels and cowboy hats standing with their mother. My theory is that their father is currenly going through a Western phase in which he wants his sons to grow up like Clint Eastwood. The wife goes along with it because when she was little she loved horses and she hopes one day that one of her boys will share that love and then own a ranch. But they will grow up to be computer research analysts and their parents wont be dissapointed because they will be making a lot of money
...And the man who just sat next to me is rapping to his loud music (playing from a walk-man) and is looking at some sort of a dating website where the women all take provacative pictures of themselves in the mirror. This story I'm not making up. I guarantee you would laugh if you were here with me now.
Well my time is almost up on my computer I hope you've enjoyed hearing about the not so mundane lives of the people who spend their Thursday at the library, but who are just getting by, just like everybody else.

A High School Criticism

Now there are very few times one can stumble upon something of true meaning and profound depth in the halls of high school. I'm talking two or three tops. But the other day I was lucky enough to read a quote so poetically sketched into a cement table top located in the courtyard, that I had to stop and pinch myself to make sure I didn't enter into a Shakespearean-esque fantasy. Now I would like to share this quote with all of you in the hope you too can enjoy the depth and intrinsic qualities that, although rare, can still be uncoverd in the mind of a seventeen year old high schooler. And the fact that this person (or persons) was so willing to give me (and the rest of the people sitting at the table) a  little piece of their fine analysis on life, I decided this needed to be shared with a larger audience.
It went a little something like this:
"I love pie and boobs."
Well said, lover of flavorful desserts and female anatomical parts, well said. It used to bother me that many high schoolers didn't share my enthusiasm for well thought out comedy. But I must admit I have been humbled and taken aback by the wit and intellect displayed above. It is evident that this person or group of people could have stopped at "I love pie" but the fact that they added "boobs" to their list of admirations really shows that they want to share a piece of themselves with their audience that reaches past the crust (heh heh) of their true character. Displaying a love for female breasts really shows this poet is an Attache to nude art, and the fact that they love pie shows they are a food connoisseur- seeking out only the most delectable of flavors in order to satisfy their well-trained palette.
What I also like about this saying is its simplicity. The writer of sed-quote could have in fact, elaborated on their favorite type of pie (Keylime? Boston Cream?) or their cup size of preference. But the fact that they left their observation to five words really shows the author wants the audience to interpret this profound meaning for themselves.
It got me thinking...do I really love pie? Or is my alliance to cake? Or tiramisu? And if it is, does it mean I'm not open minded enough to love both pie and cake equally? Maybe I'll have to give up one in order to avoid any future guilt of dessert bias.
And as for boobs. Do I really appreciate them enough? Should I be supplying them with more Victoria's Secret and less sports bras? What if someone is more of a leg person? Does that leave for an under appreciated pair of breasts?
I wish I knew the answers to these questions but I don't. All I know is that this quote has really got me thinking about where my ideals stand, and if most of my life decisions have really been worth it. I hope that this poet can continue their art of supplying me with profound depth and meaning in my life where I was too blind to see needed change. So thank you anonymous table-top Twain. You've given us all a lot of thinking to do. Whether or not humanity is ready to take a true stance on the controversy surrounding boobs and pie I can't be too sure.

Image:BGR.com